From The Color of Pain – Myths About Boys Who Are Abused (and the men they become)

By Gregory Reid

Author of The Color of Pain (Lighthouse Trails)

Myth:

It is not a widespread problem.

Fact:

One in every ten men & boys, and some say one in six has possibly been molested in some form.

Myth:

Most molesters are dirty old men.

Fact:

Most predators are highly intelligent career people with community respect and a good income.

Myth:

Most predators are stranger to the child.

Fact:

Stranger molestation is the exception, and most boys know their molesters well, as relatives for whom trust comes naturally or family friends or people in authority who have pursued the child to seduce them over a long period of time.

 Myth:

Abuse must be forced or violent to be called rape.

Fact:

Any time an adult lures a child to sexual acts it’s rape.

Myth:

If the abuse was pleasurable for the boy, it was not rape.

Fact:

Sex is a biological stimulus. Feeling pleasure may be a natural, but it is still a crime that a powerful, older person took an underage child or teen and used them for their own gratification and the psychological and emotional damage done to the child is still just as real.

Myth:

Most victims become abusers.

Fact:

This is largely a jailhouse excuse for predators. Some do go on to abuse: some become violent but most just live self- destructive, miserable lives until they get help. But the fact is most boys who were molested do notgrow up to molest. Furthermore, when a victim of abuse commits himself to the Lord and God’s Word as a born-again Christian, an avenue for true healing is opened. (Quote by Patrick Crough (Retired police sargeant NY, Seducers Among Us, LT, Fall 2012: While being abused as a child has caused many to suffer from depression, anger, and mistrust, I strongly believe that it doesn’t cause the person to become an offender when they are an adult. I know too many victims of child abuse who would never consider abusing a child. In fact, many survivors would seriously consider killing a predator if they discovered one abusing a child close to them.)

 Myth:

Non forced abuse makes the boy responsible.

Fact:

No child is ever responsible for being raped.

 Myth:

It happens to other people’s kids.

Fact:

Molestation of boys is one of the most unreported crimes that exists. It COULD be your child. Communication, unconditional love, and acceptance is the only way to keep the door open to your son if something does or did happen.

Excerpt from The Color of Pain (Lighthouse Trails)

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