Posts Tagged child abuse

NEW RELEASE: Seducers Among Our Children – Chapter by Chapter Synopsis

Oct 5th, 2012 Posted in new releases, PRODUCT SPOTLIGHT | Comments Off on NEW RELEASE: Seducers Among Our Children – Chapter by Chapter Synopsis

Seducers Among Our Children – A Police Investigator’s Perspective by Patrick Crough

RELEASED BY LIGHTHOUSE TRAILS PUBLISHING ON OCTOBER 10TH, 2012

Seducers-Among-Our-Children

SECTION I: UNDERSTANDING THE SEDUCER
Chapter 1: Mother’s Intuition
On a warm spring night in May 1994, 5-year-old Kali begged her mom, Judy Gifford, to allow her to go outside to play on her Big Wheel tricycle. Judy was preparing magazines that she was to deliver that evening. The two would go together for the deliveries. The small amount of money that this single mother made from her second job was to pay for a family trip to Disney World the following summer. As Judy put the flyers together, Kali became more and more anxious to go outside. She was looking forward to going to McDonald’s after the deliveries were completed. Finally, Judy relented and told Kali to stay right near the front door. Five minutes later, she went to check on Kali, and she was gone. It was the last time she would ever see her daughter alive.

Chapter 2: Recognizing a Seducer
There are some key elements in being able to recognize a child predator. The book explains the difference between pedophiles, sexual offenders, child molesters, and child predators. It also examines reasons that cause some men to begin molesting children, addressing the huge role that pornography plays in this deviant behavior.

Chapter 3: Ways of the Seducer: Predatory Stages
Lists and describes in detail the following phases used by sexual predators to seduce their potential victims:

a/the trust phase: First, the predator must win the trust of both the parents and the child. This is done through various means, and the predator often patiently takes his time to accomplish this.
b/the courtship phase: The predator’s sole purpose in the courtship phase is similar to that of a young male suitor courting a young woman who has captivated his interest.
c/the seduction phase: After the predator has “groomed” the victim, he then begins to introduce the child to inappropriate behavior, for example, allowing the child or young teen to watch an R rated movie with sexual content at the predator’s home.
d/the offending stage: This is where the predator actually commits the abuse. Many times the child can be silenced because he has been made to feel guilt, shame, and responsibility for what has happened.
e/the control phase: “The control phase can last a lifetime. Long after a child has broken free from the actual abuse, he or she may still feel the almost too-heavy-to-bear ball and chain of despair, resentment, hopelessness, and hatred that connect him or her to the abuser.”

SECTION II: CASE EXAMPLES

 Chapter 4: The Helpful Neighbor
A helpful and friendly neighbor and his bed-ridden wife befriend a young neighbor couple and their son. The unsuspecting parents allowed the man to take their son on frequent walks around the apartment complex so they could have some time alone on occasion. The results of this “friendship” were disastrous.

Chapter 5: The Stepfather Who Liked to Watch Porn
A thirty-year-old stepfather began introducing his stepdaughter to porn as a way to groom her for his planned sexual abuse. The victim was alone with her stepfather for a considerable portion of the day while her mother was at work. The man did not possess a criminal record nor had any sexually related allegations ever been made against him. In fact, he was even on friendly terms with a few of the Northeast district uniformed patrol officers who patronized the restaurant he worked at. In time, the stepfather began to carry out the abuse.

Chapter 6: The Highly Esteemed Coach
The predator in this case was a thirty-nine-year-old former Olympic champion gymnast from an Eastern European nation. His wife (and business partner) was also a world champion gymnast, and they had three children of their own. They had established themselves as a highly respected, successful coaching tandem, both nationally and internationally. The thirteen-year-old victim in this case was a member of an elite junior female team of approximately ten gymnasts who competed internationally.

Chapter 7: “Time to be Nice”
In this case example, the predator was the girl’s biological father. The suspect was a successful homebuilder and businessman, living in an upper middle-class community with his family. The young woman had experienced a psychological breakdown and disclosed to her boyfriend, and later to a school counselor, that her father had been sexually abusing her for the past nine years (since she was about 9 years old). Her father’s favorite phrase, “time to be nice” was the girl’s cue that her father wanted something.

Chapter 8: Child Predators & Day Care Facilities
A four year old girl is sexually abused by the father of one of the other little day care girls. The young victim told the investigators that her classmate’s dad took her into the bathroom and told her it was a “special check day.”

Chapter 9: “My Best Friend’s Dad”
The victim’s best friend’s dad was a successful OB/GYN doctor. The abuse took place over a three-year period during sleepovers at the doctor’s house. The suspect constantly spoke with the victim over the computer. He insisted she call him by his first name. The suspect became very openly affectionate toward the victim as her sleepovers increased in frequency, many as the result of his personal invite. At times, they were alone. When Investigator Crough heard about the abuse from the victim and her mother, it was obvious that the doctor was grooming her for sexual intercourse.

Chapter 10: The Popular School Teacher
The male teen victim told the investigators that the teacher, who was friendly with his parents, had recruited the victim to work part-time for him at his residence and car business. Over the late spring and summer months while he was working for him, the teacher engaged him in nearly a dozen separate incidents of sexual activity that included oral sex and sodomy. First, he began to show the victim photos, videos, and computer images of men and boys having sex together. He would reward the victim for his silence by buying him gifts and taking him out to eat, all while he was getting paid.

Chapter 11: “In Just Twenty Minutes”
The suspect was a thirty-eight year old male who befriended a group of single mothers. He became particularly friendly to a five-year-old girl and her mother in the duplex next door to him. One winter evening, the suspect transported his neighbor, her daughter, and a ten-year-old mutual female to a friend’s house in a suburban neighborhood. Once they arrived, the girls went down to the playroom in the basement with the friend’s children while the adults remained upstairs in the kitchen and visited over coffee. Eventually, the suspect went down to the basement to “check on the kids.” The suspect sat on the sofa and watched the children play. A short time later, one of the mothers went downstairs to check on things and returned upstairs. That was when the suspect made his move.

Chapter 12: Two Legacies of Evil
In case one, a thirty-nine-year old adult male befriended neighborhood seven and eight year old boys, often playing basketball with them. Eventually, he began showing the boys pornography in order to arouse their sexuality. When the abuse was finally disclosed, it came out that over thirty one boys had been sexually assaulted by this man. This became a high profile case.

With case two, a twenty-seven year old male worked at the local middle school and was also a deacon at his church. He particularly sought out young males who were lacking a father figure at home. The suspect would gain the trust of the boys’ mothers by offering his time and attention to their sons to help groom them into productive young men. What struggling mother would not have welcomed assistance from someone who seemed so nice and so caring? He pledged to be their personal mentor, kept an eye on them at school, and steered them away from trouble. Sadly, his intentions were sinister and evil, and he found opportunity to act out on these intentions. As many child predators do, this suspect placed his confidence in believing that shame, embarrassment, and fear of exposure would prevent these witnesses from testifying against him.

Chapter 13: Three Trampled Roses
This chapter is about three girls who were kidnapped, raped, and murdered in the 1970s in the Rochester, New York area. Investigator Crough was part of the investigating team. The victims were identified as Carmen Colon, Wanda Walkowicz, and Michelle Maenza.

SECTION III: PREVENTIVE TOOLS, RESOURCES, & PRACTICAL ADVICE

Chapter 14: What Can You Do to Prevent Your Children from Being Seduced and Molested?
There are some practical and down to earth ideas that can help you protect your children. Investigator Crough talks about some of these ideas, which include things like sharing a special meal out with your child, keeping the communication lines open, and monitoring Internet activity carefully.

Chapter 15: Common Risk Factors for Sexual Abuse
There is a high correlation between the breakdown of the family institution and sexual abuse of our children. With more single parent homes and two working parent homes, children are in more danger of being abused by stepfathers, live in boyfriends, day care providers, older children, and others.

Chapter 16: Parents and Guardians – The Lord’s Shepherds
Parents and guardians have been appointed to feed and care for God’s children, both physically and spiritually (1 Timothy 5:8, Ephesians 6:4). It is up to us to lay the right moral foundation and encourage them to cultivate a personal relationship with our Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ. It is wise for us to take a look at each verse of this psalm and consider how we should incorporate it into caring for our assigned flock of lambs.

Chapter 17: Protect Your Children With Prayer & the Word
As parents, we know that many dangers, both physical and spiritual, surround our children. It is for this very reason we should call upon God’s Holy Spirit to protect our children, comfort us, and take away our needless worry. And we should bury deep within our hearts God’s Word that is a “twoedged sword” that will give us discernment.

Chapter 18: Safety Check List
As you make decisions and monitor your children’s activities, consider the Safety Check List that Investigator Crough has developed. Be diligent in safeguarding your children from those inside their social circles using these principles, and you will automatically protect them from those outside their circles.

Chapter 19: Potential Signs of Sexually Abused Child
Frequently children who have been sexually offended will display changes in their behavior long before they verbalize what had occurred. Many times parents of victims have observed one or more indicators, but understandably, they never suspected it was the result of being sexually abused.

Chapter 20: Safety Tips for Churches & Community Organizations
If your children are involved in a church or community organization, check to see if a policy is in place to prevent children from being molested by an adult or older child. If a policy is in place, take a close look at it. Is it sufficient to keep your child safe? Is it being followed? When it comes to the safety of your children, don’t rely on others to address the weaknesses of the safety policy. Roll up your sleeves and work to implement a better one.

Chapter 21: Reporting & Investigating Crimes Against Children
Often, someone who has learned that a child is being sexually abused is not sure what to do. But child sexual abuse needs to be reported to authorities. It is a crime. The Bible tells us to submit to the government and its laws as long as they do not order us to break God’s laws.

Chapter 22: Discerning the Voice of a Child
Unfortunately, too many juries have believed a child who is on the stand at a trial but felt led not to convict on the grounds there wasn’t any physical evidence to corroborate the child’s testimony. However, most sexual abuse cases don’t have physical evidence. They rely solely on the voice of a child. And studies have proven that children rarely lie about sexual abuse.

Chapter 23: Consequences of Abuse in Our Homes, Our Churches, & Our Communities
The fact is, where there is sexual abuse, there is upheaval, violence, and the demise of a home, a church, or a community. The connection is there.

Chapter 24: Closing Arguments
This chapter is written by an assistant district attorney in New York. She gives various examples of actual abuse cases in an effort to show the reader that abuse does happen and in the most unsuspecting situations.

SECTION IV FINAL WORDS

Chapter 25: A Mother’s Final Words
A moving and emotional letter written by Kali Poulton’s mother to her murdered five-year-old daughter.

Chapter 26: A Calling, a Ministry, & a Mission Field
Patrick shares some of his testimony in this chapter and how he came to see the work he does as a calling and a ministry. He also talks about the heart of God when it comes to abused children.

Chapter 27: Ask Jesus for Help
A special personal note for those who have been sexually abused as children.

Seducers Among Our Children, New Book on Child Sexual Abuse, Has Gone to Press – Available October 10th

Sep 16th, 2012 Posted in coming soon, new releases, PRODUCT SPOTLIGHT, Publishing News | Comments Off on Seducers Among Our Children, New Book on Child Sexual Abuse, Has Gone to Press – Available October 10th

Seducers-Among-Our-ChildrenToday’s children are at high risk of becoming victims of sexual abuse—learn how you can protect your children from the predators who will try to seduce them.

Seducers Among Our Children, the latest Lighthouse Trails release, has gone to press and will be available on October 10th, 2012. Written by retired investigative police sergeant, Patrick Crough, the book is a handbook for parents on how to protect their children from sexual predators.

ABOUT THE BOOK: Countless numbers of children will be sexually abused by the time they reach their 18th birthday. Sadly, most parents won’t even see it coming. They don’t realize that sexual predators of children are often friendly, helpful, and attentive, drawing in a child, not by force but rather through enticing seduction.

Seducers Among Our Children is the personal perspective of an investigative sergeant who knows first hand the inner workings and methods used by sexual predators. This book offers a practical, simple presentation of how child predators operate in today’s society. It will educate concerned parents and guardians about how to recognize when a child predator is in their midst, how to protect children from predators, how to recognize if a child has already been offended by a predator, and what to do if a child discloses he or she has been offended by a predator. For the adult reader who was sexually molested as a child, this book may assist you in making some sense out of what happened and help you understand it wasn’t your fault.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Retired Investigator Sergeant Patrick Crough has thirty years of law enforcement experience, including twenty years as a Major Crimes Investigator and Hostage Negotiator with the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office in Rochester, New York. He and his colleagues in the Major Crimes Unit investigated murders and other reported homicides, suspicious deaths, physical and sexual assaults, crimes against children, police-involved shootings, and conducted covert special investigations. He is also the author of Chronicles of a Rochester Major Crimes Detective: Confronting Evil and Pursuing Truth. Patrick is married with three grown children and two grandchildren. Today, he is in full-time ministry with Millstone Justice, a non-profit, child advocacy group.

BOOK INFORMATION:

272 PAGES, $14.95
ISBN: 978-0-9846366-5-5
Front Matter including Preface and Table of Contents
Quantity discounts available
Order through Lighthouse Trails or through most online or walk in bookstores.

From The Color of Pain – Myths About Boys Who Are Abused (and the men they become)

May 19th, 2012 Posted in Excerpts | Comments Off on From The Color of Pain – Myths About Boys Who Are Abused (and the men they become)

By Gregory Reid

Author of The Color of Pain (Lighthouse Trails)

Myth:

It is not a widespread problem.

Fact:

One in every ten men & boys, and some say one in six has possibly been molested in some form.

Myth:

Most molesters are dirty old men.

Fact:

Most predators are highly intelligent career people with community respect and a good income.

Myth:

Most predators are stranger to the child.

Fact:

Stranger molestation is the exception, and most boys know their molesters well, as relatives for whom trust comes naturally or family friends or people in authority who have pursued the child to seduce them over a long period of time.

 Myth:

Abuse must be forced or violent to be called rape.

Fact:

Any time an adult lures a child to sexual acts it’s rape.

Myth:

If the abuse was pleasurable for the boy, it was not rape.

Fact:

Sex is a biological stimulus. Feeling pleasure may be a natural, but it is still a crime that a powerful, older person took an underage child or teen and used them for their own gratification and the psychological and emotional damage done to the child is still just as real.

Myth:

Most victims become abusers.

Fact:

This is largely a jailhouse excuse for predators. Some do go on to abuse: some become violent but most just live self- destructive, miserable lives until they get help. But the fact is most boys who were molested do notgrow up to molest. Furthermore, when a victim of abuse commits himself to the Lord and God’s Word as a born-again Christian, an avenue for true healing is opened. (Quote by Patrick Crough (Retired police sargeant NY, Seducers Among Us, LT, Fall 2012: While being abused as a child has caused many to suffer from depression, anger, and mistrust, I strongly believe that it doesn’t cause the person to become an offender when they are an adult. I know too many victims of child abuse who would never consider abusing a child. In fact, many survivors would seriously consider killing a predator if they discovered one abusing a child close to them.)

 Myth:

Non forced abuse makes the boy responsible.

Fact:

No child is ever responsible for being raped.

 Myth:

It happens to other people’s kids.

Fact:

Molestation of boys is one of the most unreported crimes that exists. It COULD be your child. Communication, unconditional love, and acceptance is the only way to keep the door open to your son if something does or did happen.

Excerpt from The Color of Pain (Lighthouse Trails)

A Boy Who Was Abused – A God Who Delivered

Feb 21st, 2012 Posted in Excerpts | Comments Off on A Boy Who Was Abused – A God Who Delivered

By Greg Reid
(author of The Color of Pain)

In my autobiography, Nobody’s Angel, I tell the story of my life, and how the first eleven years of my childhood were a black hole of emptiness. Things had happened, but they had been so horrific I had entered into a world of Forget. I went from a once polite, gentle, God-loving child, changed overnight into a slovenly, sexualized, angry, hard-drinking, rebellious, destructive, secretive, occult-addicted pre-adolescent. My father asked me once,“Whatever happened to that neat little boy I used to know?”

“He died a long time ago, Pop,” I replied, though I knew he couldn’t understand.

Starting at eleven-years-old, I entered the world of the occult. I was drawn into the darkness of it and never could grasp why. I was exploited by predators, raped, and abused and experienced all types of evil. This went on until I felt that I was at the brink of death. A staggering sense of loss and grief had become my constant companions. By the time I was fifteen, I had lived what felt like an entire pathetic life.

I guess my parents should have asked more questions about the changes in me, but at the time they were struggling with serious health issues, and their lives couldn’t take on anymore than what was already consuming them.

In the spring of my 15th year, I met a man hitchhiking who turned out to be a Christian. He gave me a copy of a book called The Cross and The Switchblade. It was the story of Dave Wilkerson, a skinny Pennsylvania preacher, who went to New York and faced down the worst, most deadly gang leader in New York, Nicky Cruz, and told him Jesus loved him. Nicky beat him up. Dave kept on him, and Nicky finally became a Christian.

Eventually, after some very dramatic events, I too surrendered my life to Jesus Christ and became a Christian. Had that not happened, I believe I would have died before ever reaching the age of twenty. I had been on a road to destruction.

Over the next few years, I continued to heal under the protection of some dear Christian friends and a seventy-six-year-old Baptist saint who took me in and loved me and taught me about God’s unconditional love. I devoured the Scriptures, and they broke the lies. I fought a vicious battle with sexual issues, depression, unhealthy relationships, deep loneliness, and a smoldering rage.

I went immediately into “ministry” at sixteen, and before I was twenty-six, had been around the world. The occult, and demonic influence, had wrapped itself in every fiber of my being, and God gently and firmly took me out of it all.

The-Color-Of-PainHow was I to know that everything inside me would fall apart in my twenties, when as a respected teacher and youth leader, I would have to face a nightmare worse than anything I could imagine? God was now ready for the ordeal to come to me that I know broke His heart, but would be the final deliverance and revelation of who I was and where I had been. I was about to go to the gates of hell—not as a warrior—but as a wanted man, a traitor to the devil, and a terrified child. Those first forgotten eleven years of my life were about to intrude into my adult existence. I had to go back into the dark and empty corridors of my forgotten past to retrieve the truth and, in so doing, become fully prepared to go to war against the satanic powers, organizations, and occult rulers who continue to destroy the lives of thousands of innocent children today.

It was the summer of my twentieth year, and I was home from Bible school for three months. It was the beginning of the crack in the wall that would lead to my descent into the mouth of my satanic past. Nearly a decade would pass before all of the horrible ugly truth came out. But the Lord was with me all along the way; and today I can say that He has healed me. Yes, there are and always will be scars, but His love and His Word have been my Deliverer.  (from chapter 1, The Color of Pain, Greg Reid, Lighthouse Trails)

Memoir by abused boy is important, tough to read

Sep 15th, 2011 Posted in Book/DVD Reviews | Comments Off on Memoir by abused boy is important, tough to read
by Diana Washington Valdez \ El Paso Times

The-Color-Of-Pain“The Color of Pain: Boys Who are Sexually Abused and the Men They Become” by Gregory R. Reid (Lighthouse Trails Publishing, $10.95),

 

Young boys who are sexually abused are not likely to talk about it as adults, much less to report it. Such abuse may involve ordeals of extreme brutality meant to injure the body and destroy the psyche.

Gregory R. Reid knows this firsthand. He is a survivor who has written a book about the harrowing experiences he lived through in hopes that others like him will reach out for and receive healing.

The book, “The Color of Pain: Boys Who are Sexually Abused and the Men They Become” (Lighthouse Trails Publishing, $10.95), will evoke strong emotions from readers — who will prefer to believe they are reading fiction instead of someone’s memoir.

Some passages in Reid’s book are repulsive. They are supposed to be that way. Society recoils at the thought of children being attacked in any way.

“I’m a male sexual-abuse survivor,” Reid writes. “I am also a ritual abuse survivor. I am rare and belong to a company of men and boys, mostly silent and scared.”

The El Paso author tells his story in only 104 pages that are hard to forget. The account of incidents he describes are riveting and make the reader want to follow along to find out whether he ever recovers the childhood he lost in California. Some events he chronicles occurred within the context of ritual abuse.

The book comes with warnings that its contents should not be read by young children and that adults should use good judgment in deciding the right age for young people to read it.

Source: http://www.elpasotimes.com/living/ci_18724348?source=most_emailed

Book Review: The Color of Pain – Boys who are sexually abused and the men they become

May 1st, 2011 Posted in Book/DVD Reviews | Comments Off on Book Review: The Color of Pain – Boys who are sexually abused and the men they become

BOOK REVIEW BY BOOKS AND CHOCOLATE[The Color of Pain] is [Gregory Reid’s] story but it is also a book of facts that includes topics such as looking for the signs of sexual abuse, where predators hunt, myths about abused boys, what a victim looks like, why men and boys don’t talk about their abuse, and what not to tell abused boys and men. I felt the author did an excellent job in addressing the pain and issues surrounding abuse without being graphic.
I’m grateful that this is not something I know about first-hand (at least not that I’m aware of), but after reading this book I feel I can recommend it as a valuable resource to anyone who has been a victim, knows someone who is, or is a professional counselor, pastor, teacher, or parent of sons who needs to know what signs to look for and how to respond.

Book Review: Laughter Calls Me

Apr 14th, 2011 Posted in Book/DVD Reviews | Comments Off on Book Review: Laughter Calls Me

From Books and Chocolate

This is the true story of a mother who discovers her children have become victims of sexual abuse and child pornography at the hands of their father and other relatives.  The story covers a twenty-year period in the author’s life from her pot-smoking hippie lifestyle in the seventies as a teenager before becoming a Christian and a wife and mother, to the heartbreaking discovery of the abuse and her fight to keep her children safe, even to the point of having to go into hiding. 

Once I started reading this book I couldn’t stop and finished it in one sitting.  It had me in tears at times but mostly inspired me in my faith because in the midst of it all, it was evident that God was at work in Catherine’s life early on in ways that strengthened her for what was to come.  The author admits there were times she didn’t think she or her children were going to survive it all emotionally, but in the end God took what was meant for evil and replaced it with healing and joy.  The epilogue is a blessing not to be missed.

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